Comments on Our Life Upstate: The Mom I Want To Be

Oh, honey! No one is that mom!! Your love and ki...

2009-10-27T21:56:41.603-04:00

Oh, honey! No one is that mom!! Your love and kindness towards your children positively radiate from your blog and the fact that you *want* to be "that mom" makes you wonderful.

You need to make sure your needs are met too. And those of your marriage. Putting a sick baby down to sleep so you can spend time with your husband (after holding her all day and night, no less!) is NOT a bad thing, and certainly not something to feel bad about, although I know "Mommy Guilt" still makes you!

I'd love to be "that mom" too, but instead I'm "James's mom" and he's a happy, healthy, safe little boy who loves me and that's all that matters. You are just the same. Your kids are happy, healthy and safe and they love you, what more could a mommy want?

I think the mom you want to be is fictional! You a...

2009-10-26T21:06:13.182-04:00

I think the mom you want to be is fictional! You are a good mom & you are doing your best & for that you are a great mom! I feel the same way though!

Most moms I know can relate to this, myself includ...

2009-10-26T10:10:06.922-04:00

Most moms I know can relate to this, myself included! As much as we'd love to be "super mom", it just isn't possible. We do the best that we can and need to cut ourselves some slack. Like another mama above mentioned, our husbands don't beat themselves up like this for not being "perfect", so why do we?

You're doing a great job! And you're honest about what you're feeling. I think you're an awesome mom!

Well put! As you can see, you are not alone in you...

2009-10-26T09:20:32.746-04:00

Well put! As you can see, you are not alone in your feelings!

how come i can relate to your post? no matter how...

2009-10-26T09:14:56.003-04:00

how come i can relate to your post? no matter how perfect we want to be, we are not perfect.. we lose our patience... we get tired... we miss "those" moments with the kids even when we are home...

sigh...

I totally know how you feel, but remember - we can...

2009-10-26T00:32:04.352-04:00

I totally know how you feel, but remember - we can't be everything all the time. When kids are sick especially!! You are the best mom your children have - they are so lucky to have you and are not busy comparing you to some imaginary perfect mom, like we tend to do to ourselves. Just take some deep breaths and know that you are the best mom some days and some days you are an overwhelmed mom - but that's okay!

No, no, you can't be that mom, cuz I'M tha...

2009-10-26T00:00:08.331-04:00

No, no, you can't be that mom, cuz I'M that mom. The mom who wants to do and be everything perfect, all the time, but ends up feeding my kids too much McDonalds and bribes them with cookies to get them to give me some peace before I hang myself in the bathroom.

And ya know what, I really don't know ANY mom who's the "perfect" mom she THOUGHT she'd be.... okay, unless she has ONE child and that child is under TWO --- and to those ladies I say "oh.... you just wait!"

You're doing fine, and so am I, and so is every other mom who loses her patience, feeds the kids chicken nuggets, and needs time alone with her husband once in awhile. We are human. And you don't see the daddies beating themselves up this way, do you?!

There. I fixed it. ;)

I've realized in the last week that "mom&...

2009-10-25T23:47:47.078-04:00

I've realized in the last week that "mom" and "human" are not mutually exclusive. There's no such thing as a perfect mom, there's no such thing as that mom you want to be. All you can do is all you can do, and your children will be better because of it. No child will ever learn from a perfect mother. Kids need to see that we are weak, we make mistakes, that we try because how else would they know it's okay for them to fail, too? Hang in there. I'm right there with you.

What an amazing post! I can totally relate (minus ...

2009-10-25T23:44:30.647-04:00

What an amazing post! I can totally relate (minus the hockey and Ethiopia things). I would love to be THAT mom. It's hard enough being THIS mom though, and I realize that being this mom, for now, is good enough, because *this* mom is striving every day to improve and I am sure I will eventually be THAT mom... I just hope it happens before they graduate high school. LOL