Puberty is a big thing. When I think of girls going through puberty I think of them being somewhere between eleven and fourteen. I think of them being almost ready for what they are dealing with - but not quite. I think of them being tweens, not kids. I think of them being a little excited and maybe a little embarrassed about their developing breasts. I think of them as being a bit freaked out and then extremely embarrassed by their first menstrual cycle. Of course, when I picture MY girls starting puberty I picture them being 35. :)
In all seriousness I envision them being older. Much older then they are now. Much older then Sean is now. But, apparently, that is not always the case. According to a study published in Pediatrics (a peer review journal) in 2010 14.9% of all girls were starting to menstruate by age seven and 27.2% of all girls were starting by age 8. That's so young. I mean, like, insanely young. It breaks down to have higher or lower percentage based on race but just those statistics are scary enough for me.
Now let's add in the nastiness of the disorder my kid has. Promiscuity is a symptom. According to Jay Belsky "...babies who didn't smile, vocalize, and reach for mom (signs of secure attachment) started puberty earlier...when times are tough, nature kicks in to start puberty earlier, because it ups the chance of a person mating and having offspring before it's too late." Oh great! And she is African American making her in the highest percentage - 42.9% of all African American girls are starting to menstruate by age 8. Oh crud!!! That's only 5 years away. And once she starts to menstruate and puberty starts to set in ..... well .... oh boy!
So, waiting is no good when it comes to this topic. Not for anyone, really but especially not for me. Because it is coming before I know it. Before I will be ready. And so I need to think about things. What do I want my girls to think and feel about their journey through puberty? What do I want my girls to feel about menstruation? What should they know before they get there? What do they need to know going in? And when? And how? According to an article in Pediatrics in 2008 "more than 40% of all children have intercourse before any discussion about sex..."That's scary. And what about the care issue? The hygiene? Tampons? Pads? Disposable? Cloth?
And that is where education will come in. I need to be informed about sex and teens. About how to help Kenzie from giving in to what may be her first instinct. About signs of puberty. About menstruation. About TSS - that is toxic shock syndrom and is caused by tampon usage. I didn't know about this - even that it existed - until very recently. So, on this Aloha Friday, my question to you is when did you start menstruating? I'm really hoping that you can all make me feel a little better about this. Please God do not let my girl have only five years left of real childhood.
And please join the folks from You Are loved over on Twitter today at 2pm Eastern time. They host a monthly twitter chat - #periodtalk. You can get all the details here.
Not until I was 16! 8? Really?
ReplyDeleteI was beyond prepared when the time came. (no thanks to my mother-I'm sure you will do a better job than that!)
Ugh. Good luck!
8 seems so, so young. I was 12, which is still considered the average age in the US.
ReplyDeletei was 8 and was so embarrassed as I knew NOTHING about what was happening to me.
ReplyDeletechantal @tcms
http://thischattanoogamommysaves.blogspot.com/2012/01/aloha-friday_13.html
I was 10 and what was worse than that was how large my breasts were at such a young age, I was less concerned about the other.
ReplyDeleteI was 11 and I had large breasts as wel - I'm in my 30s and I'm still all self conscious about my large chest. I didn't care so much about my period but as a mom I'm not really looking forward to the first time for my girls. :/
DeleteI was in grade six and my daughter started in grade six, as well. It is very hard when they are so young.
ReplyDeletei was 14 and in 9th grade. so most people had gone before me (i think middle school was the norm).
ReplyDeleteNot till I was 12 and I thought that was pretty normal at that time.
ReplyDeleteSorry I just read this so the twitter thing is over, but I can tell you this I got my period when I was 10 & knew absolutely nothing about it. I was also taking cal-esthetics in gym working on the bars etc. I went to the bathroom and saw all that.. well you know I thought I was dying. I yelled Mom & Dad knew just what happened for some reason. He handed me a dish towel to put there until he could go to the store. (My mom had breast cancer which put her through a force change of life and back then it was kotex (pads). Dad explained everything to me -NOT MY MOM. She was too nervous or too I don't know I never pushed the issue, but then my sister-law when I turn 13 gave me a book that told me everything I needed to know about a woman and any sexual questions I may have had. So, my girls I told them when they were 10 what was going to be happening and why. I answered any questions they had, and thank God they didn't ask the big question yet! Whew! I had a reprieve for a while. So, that's it. Don't let your daughter NOT know about it. That's so not good! I really thought I was dying.
ReplyDeleteThis takes me way back. I was 11 and then went through complete menopause at 48. I have to wonder if starting early meant I was going to finish early. Either way, it's nice to have those monthly migraines behind me.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't remember but I suspect I was around 12 or so. But I just read an article in a magazine about how girls are starting as young as 8 and 9 and that parents shouldn't put off talking to their daughters (and sons for that matter) about puberty. Fortunately I have already started the discussion with my daughter who just turned 9.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest started when she was 13 and I have two more that will at some point. One of the suspected causes for the early starts are the chemicals and hormones in our water and our food. I am moving my daughter over to cloth pads because from everything I have read not only does save you money in the long run commercial pads have nasty chemicals in them just like disposable diapers. TSS is very scary in. We had the your bodies changing and that is a good thing talk with my oldest and soon will with the next one in line. MY husband and I have since they are young have talked to all of our kids about waiting and not only the religious reasons why but also the scientific reasons why. I have also shown my teenagers pictures of different STD's on the internet and have read to them the statistical chance of catching them, their symptoms and how difficult to get rid of them are if you even can ( yes a scare tactic but also causes them to make informed choices).
ReplyDeleteI think I was 13 when I started. It was a very traumatic experience since my Mom never really told me about what to expect.
ReplyDeleteI was 10.
ReplyDeleteThe first time was 12 days after my 14th birthday but it started for real when I was 15 and a half. I have one friend who was 9 and another who was 8 though.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that in some places "more than 40% of all children have intercourse before any discussion about sex" is certainly scary but it's more importantly easy to change. We just need to talk to our children. The better thing would be a national sex education program but in the meantime we just need to talk to our kids!