I Sit and I Listen

I sit and I listen to them. I listen to their interaction. I cringe. I laugh. I cry. I continue to listen.

Sean is antagonizing Kenzie. If he keeps going Mickey will start to repeat him. I know I should stop him. I know I should tell him to talk about something else. I also know that he is relieving the stress that he feels because of the way Kenzie acts. I know I need to find a better way to let him relieve his stress. I wonder what he can do? I wonder if he could write it out? Does he know it consciously enough? Or is buried in him? Should I try to pull it out? Or leave him be? Which is healthier? What does he need? What do I give him ? What do I allow? What goes too far? It's got to be okay for him to say he's upset with her, right? It must be. But she's going to start screaming. I don't want her to be screaming. I want her to be happy. Or at least what passes for happy. I want her to not be screaming. But I know he has to get it out.

What do I do? What do I do? How do I balance? How do I take care of each of them. I sit and listen. I cringe. I wait for the screaming. I listen for any statement that is just mean. Or bullying. I listen for anything that is unfair or untrue. He sticks with a combo of really kinda deep honest statements and a few silly things. I don't get involved.

He walks away to come and find me. He snuggles into my lap. I can feel the frustration in his little body. I hug him tighter. I sit and I listen. To the sound of his breath. To the sound of the girls discussing their food. To the sound of my own heart. I sit and I listen. And I cry.

I am joining in on just write this week.