As parents we are given lots of advice. All. The. Time. It starts with the doctors who have lots of advice about our pregnancies. Then lots of advice about the baby. Then our mothers, our mother-in-laws, our sisters, our aunts, our cousins, our friends. And they all have lots of advice about both pregnancy and then the baby. Then the nurses in the hospital have lots of advice. Then the pediatrician. Lastly the elderly ladies who stop us at the grocery store. And they all have advice. Lots of advice.
Often times each person's advice will be different. And contradictory. So, we have to take what works for us and leave the rest. In time there will be people who we ask for advice and those who you tune out the minute they start speaking.
A few weeks ago I was visiting with my sister and I told her that I am going to do my very best to not give her unsolicited advice. To not tell her how to parent her own child. To not act like I know better then her about her own kids. And I'm going to try. I also told her that I may not be successful and she should feel free to tell me to butt out when she doesn't want my opinion. Because the truth is that it can be hard to get other people's advice out of your head. Which just makes parenting a whole lot harder then it should be.
And so my Aloha Friday question for this week is a two part question. What piece of advice has been your favorite and which has been the one that is just NOT for you?
Liked: Sleep when the baby sleeps (of course).
ReplyDeleteDidn't like: Maybe it's time to stop breastfeeding. (at six months and younger).
Also didn't like: It's time to get over him (re: my son who died, six months later)!!!!!
What an absolutely terrible thing to say. I am so sorry for your loss.
DeleteLiked dehydrating tips from my daughter.
ReplyDeleteDidn't like: suggesting I go to bed earlier.
Hmm, trying to remember since all my advice was with my first.
ReplyDeleteLiked: Get as much sleep as you can
Didn't like: Sleep when baby sleeps. (when baby was sleeping is only time I ever got things done)
Happy Friday!
http://www.atticgirl.com/2012/01/aloha-friday-injuries.html
I never really liked sleep when the baby sleep either. I always needed that time to get things done too. :)
DeleteLike: You are the parents and know your children the best, do what you think is best for them.
ReplyDeleteWorst: Don't ask, I think it came yesterday :(
Like: Don't keep a quiet house around the baby.
ReplyDeleteDidn't like: A laundry list of why I should breastfeed. Oddly this never came from friends or family, just pushy doctors.
Liked: No matter what we do as parents, we're going to screw them up somehow. so just go with your gut and hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteWorst: She has to learn to cry it out, put her in the crib, close the door and leave. she'll fall asleep eventually (about my child who was in a crib in an orphanage for 5 months with no personal care, propped up bottles, etc.)
I like that advice too. Go with your gut is my philosophy completely. My daughter was treated the same way. It is so sad.
DeleteOh I do not know. I think the best advice was, "Enjoy life to it's fullest" Giving by my Mother.
ReplyDeleteThe worst would be " Life is a bowl of cherries, everything has pits". Given by a Columnist. I found that one to be depressing and will not let me enjoy life.
sheep when your baby is asleep.. it came in handy and i wished i would have listened to it more!
ReplyDeletechantal @ tcms
http://thischattanoogamommysaves.blogspot.com/2012/01/aloha-friday_20.html
great question!
ReplyDeleteliked : let the baby sleep in the nursery when you are in the hospital, so you get rest...
didn't like: let the baby cry it out...
Liked: Just live as your would before the baby got there. No tippy toeing.
ReplyDeleteDisliked: He isn't potty trained as yet??
Ha!!! I got criticized for potty training "too early" when my son started (on his own) asking too use the toilet. People just love to criticize, don't they?
DeleteWhen my first child was born 18 years ago, I did not like the way my husband's family talked down to me because I was breastfeeding. My sister-in-law actually said to me that her "husband would never allow that" - I was too timid to say much back then. But, as my other children were born, I stopped caring what my in-laws thought and did what was best for me and my baby.
ReplyDeleteBest advice was to let our baby have a pacifier.
take life easy and when it gets rough get on your knees becaue it is there where you will find the answers is the best advice
ReplyDeletethe worst advice is that my children needed more discipline
come see what I asked at http://shopannies.blogspot.com
Never go to bed angry!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite advice was from my grandmother -- Keep you chin up and keep moving!
ReplyDeleteMy least favorite -- everything happens for a reason -- that one just drives me up a wall for some reason. It may very well be true but it still bugs me -- LOL
Visiting from Aloha Friday
Like: Enjoy your children for they grow up too quickly.
ReplyDeleteDon't Like: Shave my daughter's head so her hair grows in thicker (from my crazy MIL)
The worst advice: You need to break him of that (when my baby was crying for me and as I was going to pick him up).
ReplyDeleteThe best advice: Trust yourself.