I have been reading the book Mercy by Jodi Picoult the last few days. I am enjoying it. I read My Sister's Keeper a few years back and I enjoyed it very much. Since then I have always meant to read another book by Picoult. This story is hard on me. This story is upsetting. The characters are all very real. They are all people who I could know in my everyday life. This makes them easy to relate to. That makes the upsetting things even more upsetting.
The problem with the book is that I am so tired of being inundated with stories of men cheating on their wives. Maybe it is because I am married. Maybe it is because I want to be the people who have a lifetime to look back on. Maybe it is because I fully intend to remain married. I suppose it could be because my husband knows that I would stay pretty much no matter what. Or maybe it could just be that I have more faith in people and in marriage. I believe that people really can be in love for fifty years. I believe that marriage is something that people have to work at but that for most people marriage is something that is worth working at.
And yet we constantly see or read stories of men who cheat. Whether it is the father on TV's Brothers and Sisters, the father on TV's Parenthood or the husband in this book. And it always seems that the longer a couple has been married the more likely a man is to be cheating. Does it work like that in real life? Do all couples who have been married for ten years or more wind up with one or the other cheating on their spouse? I hope not. I don't believe that. And so I wonder why does everyone think it is a good story line? It creates drama, I suppose. It certainly gives conflict. But why does anyone want to read it? Do we think we can see the problem in their marriage? Do we think that if we see it it cannot happen to us? If you ask me it just does not make a good story.
The problem with the book is that I am so tired of being inundated with stories of men cheating on their wives. Maybe it is because I am married. Maybe it is because I want to be the people who have a lifetime to look back on. Maybe it is because I fully intend to remain married. I suppose it could be because my husband knows that I would stay pretty much no matter what. Or maybe it could just be that I have more faith in people and in marriage. I believe that people really can be in love for fifty years. I believe that marriage is something that people have to work at but that for most people marriage is something that is worth working at.
And yet we constantly see or read stories of men who cheat. Whether it is the father on TV's Brothers and Sisters, the father on TV's Parenthood or the husband in this book. And it always seems that the longer a couple has been married the more likely a man is to be cheating. Does it work like that in real life? Do all couples who have been married for ten years or more wind up with one or the other cheating on their spouse? I hope not. I don't believe that. And so I wonder why does everyone think it is a good story line? It creates drama, I suppose. It certainly gives conflict. But why does anyone want to read it? Do we think we can see the problem in their marriage? Do we think that if we see it it cannot happen to us? If you ask me it just does not make a good story.
I think that society has painted the picture of being unhappy equals cheating, getting divorced and moving on to something new. It's too hard to stay and work on a marriage, it's much "easier" to just end it and start fresh.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with that picture at all. I'm with you. I want to to believe and do believe that marriage can make it 50+ years with no cheating!
I think because it also justifies the mentality of "well if it doesn't work out, that is what divorce is for..." I don't think people realize any more that the commitment you are making is to be forever and def costs much work and a lot of sacrificing on one's part. You are no longer yourself you are one with that other person and must lay selfishness aside for the good of BOTH. Lol, I know you know this, its just on my heart too.
ReplyDeleteI don't like it and have really been struggling with this all week too! lol, well, I hope you find a book you love and enjoy reading.
You seem to watch a lot of TV - maybe you should read a few good books - like the bible, or dictionary, or Oprah's book of the month club.
ReplyDeleteLordy, who posted that last comment?? Whateverrrr. Anyway, I believe people feel better about themselves when they read/watch others' failures. Maybe they think, if/when it happens to me I won't be the first one (be lying if I said I didn't feel that way once or twice in my life) or maybe misery loves company. Or simply, it could just be for some, for whatever reason, entertaining (hey life is stressful sometimes we just need some mind numbing shows no matter what the plot is). Keep in mind, this is coming from someone watching a Snapped marathon right now on Oxygen with a glass of wine.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I'm not fond of reading about these stories of infidelity. I understand that it is a reality for some people, and I'm not saying that it should be a taboo subject. But I'm just not that interested.
ReplyDeleteI have a copy of My Sister's Keeper though I haven't read it yet. Do you recommend?