Overwhelmed

Do you ever have a day where you just feel like you need a break? Like you just need everything and everyone to stop? A day where it feels like if one more person asks you to do one more thing for them you very well might explode? A day where everyone in your life seems to be pulling you in different directions? A day where the things that you have to do are so endless that you cannot seem to go do any of them? A day where you feel so utterly lost you cannot even begin to figure out where you are going?

This is how I feel lately. I do not know what is up with me. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed. I used to be someone that always wanted to be out doing things but now I rarely want to leave my house. I rarely want to leave my couch. The other day I needed something from the store and the idea of putting all three kids in the car and driving to the store, getting everyone back out of the car, going inside, getting my one item, getting back in the car, driving home and getting everyone out of the car (AGAIN) and into the house was completely and totally overwhelming. I opted not to go and sent Hubby on his way home instead.

And I wondered about when I became that mom. The mom who was not going out if she did not absolutely have to. I totally do not want to be that mom. I could barely get myself excited about going to the outdoor hockey game a week ago. Once I was there I had a great time but getting ready for it - I would have much preferred to stay home. It is awful. I am in a funk and I do not know how to get past it.

Do you think that if I force myself to go to the store and not call Hubby and make him go on the way home it would get better? Or is knowing my limits better? Am I better off staying home when the idea of going out is overwhelming? Or do I need to force myself to go and do and be me again? I do not know. I am so lost. I am so overwhelmed.

And I do not know why. The people in my life are awesome! I have this wonderful husband who loves me, takes care of me, provides for me, supports me, loves our kids and is really the best husband ever. I have these three terrific kids. Kids who are pretty much perfect - or as perfect as they can be. Three kids who make my life full and wonderful and happy. Three kids, a husband, a house, two cats and a dog. It's perfect - so why am I unable to go to the store when I need to?
Posted on 3/03/2010 Labels:

26 Comments:

  1. I guess I am "that mom" too. I dread the thought of getting all of my kids dressed and ready on the weekend to go to the grocery store. Matter of fact, if I could find a grocery store that would deliver I would NEVER leave my house on the weekends. (I already have my diapers delivered.) I think as moms, we get overwhelmed. Especially when we have so many little ones that need to tag along. I think it would be different if they were older and could do more for themselves, but it's the fact that their young. Getting them ready is so draining that by the time you walk out of the door you are already exhausted.

    I have well behaved kids, don't get me wrong, but I just like the comfort of my house more than I like going out. I use to love to take my children to the store when there were only one or two of them. Four is now a daunting task. Putting them in and out of carseats, then making sure that you don't stay in the store too long. It's just so tiresome and bothersome.

    Things will get better. It's good to know that you actually like getting out of the house and to your destination once you get there. I am guessing it is the fact that you have to prepare everyone that is bothersome.

    Take care,
    Shynea
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  2. i think it's pretty normal when everything you have to do involves 30 minute prep and all the kids in and out of the car....I go through that with just 2 kids and many times I'll call my husband and he'll stop for me. It's just easier. Sometimes I feel that leaving and going out is more of a hassle with all you have to deal with, even with good kids, but they still need so much help and assistance.
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  3. oh gosh, that's such a tough one. i think sometimes, you need to go. but you definitely have to be ready for it. you have to know that one or two or all three of the kids may whine, but you're going to be ok with that. you have to have the attitude that you are going to make it a joyous occasion. if you're not ready for that, then don't go.
    you'll get out of the funk. i think it happens to us all
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  4. I think that just about every mother has been where you are before. Maybe not exactly the same.. but similar. It is so tough being a mom! It really is! It is hard to think about getting everyone ready and going to the store for one item and all that entails. If you were alone it would take 5 min top! With kids it could take 30! I have been there so many times and I only have one child at the moment. But, I do agree with you that once I decide to get up and go I feel much better (maybe not about the one item from the store.. but about going out in general). Maybe just give it a try and go out the next time you feel like calling your husband and see what happens. I mean, I truly think it depends on the situation. I call my husband so many times for that one item! LOL!! You are doing an awesome job as a momma!
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  5. Aww, HUGS!!! I know the feeling. Happens here everyday! I think to myself if I just get a shower and get in gear I'll be fine. But then I don't and I'm still overwhelmed!

    I don't have any advice, just wanted to give you HUGS!
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  6. I love being home too! It's easier, if kiddos needs a nap or be discipline well am at home and able to do it! more difficult in not at home!!!

    We have sorta of a routine and it's comfortable, knowing that what we need is there when you need it is nice.

    Going out with little one is hard, it's lots of work, from diapers or extra clothes for the potty trained little one. The logistic of going out means more work for mother (who are usually overworked anyways)

    Plus lets face it, if your kids are like mine, they will be acting differently outside the home. Going potty is like pulling teeth (public potty is gross I know!) If there nap routine is not done (meaning if they are not in bed when they need to) then it feels like your kids transform him or herself into a different one! One that you feel like saying "this is not my kids I don't know him/her!!!"

    I know all those feeling are happening whether our are out of or home or not but it's way easier to deal with them at home and not in public for all to see!!!!

    My Mom said that after we were older it's was easier for her to relax and enjoyed going out! And now that we are all out of our parents home, they have a social life that we didn't know that they could have enjoyed!

    Maybe this is just a season in your life, give yourself time to adjust to your growing family, and yes summer will be here soon and the warm sun will make things all better :-)
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  7. Totally normal! And it's OKAY to be "that mom" for awhile. I say, embrace the season of life you are in because they will grow up so quickly and before you know it, it will be easy to go out again. Though it doesn't feel like it, it will be a very shot-lived time. Plan to be extra efficient with you do go out and enjoy the time you are home :).
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  8. guess at some point we all feel like that....but well to go to the store for one item when you need to sort out 3 kids i would efentiely leave it to hubs if it doenst involve a small walk!
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  9. I think we have all been there at one point. I don't blame you for not wanting to go to the store to pick up one item because you have to drag all three children with you. I guess I am "that mom" too. I have four children and I try my best to stay home as much as I can. This saves on gas, and as you put it, "putting all three kids in the car and driving to the store, getting everyone back out of the car, going inside, getting my one item, getting back in the car, driving home and getting everyone out of the car (AGAIN)" Don't worry about it. You'll be out of this "funk" before you know it.

    Thanks for stopping by Healthy Moms and leaving us a comment.

    Have a totally awesome Thursday!
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  10. oh my... how i can totally relate. i too have 3 kids and i am preggo with my fourth. and i have been battling this lately. to top it off i am homeschooling this year. i have become very unsocial and also overwhelmed quite often.

    i think to answer your question...

    yes.

    i think somedays we gotta make ourselves get out, for them (and us) just pick the good time of day (i've forced myself to schedule playdates once a week for the kids and i really don't want to b/c i'd rather stay home and get stuff done but i know they need it)

    and i think somedays yes it is ok to stay home and to know your limits.

    i am guessing that isn't too helpful... but at least you can know that someone relates!
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  11. I know I already posted to you on fb but just wanted to say again that I often feel the same way. Some thing that makes it more difficult for me is the weather. When it is cold and dreary I just do not feel like moving. As Spring hits I hope we both feel like we have more energy and motivation for getting the kids out, and hopefully we can get them out together with some park playdates once it gets nice. :)

    -Sarah
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  12. I'm totally "that mom" too. It's overwhelming to have load up all kids. I do all of the getting ready when we go anywhere, so I have start getting ready what seems like hours ahead of time. It's a gigantic pain! I'm like you and would almost prefer to stay home. I will say that I rarely go anywhere without my husband. I save my running around for the weekends if I can. Then there's two of us to wrangle the kids, two of us to do the shopping, two of us to take the 3 year old to the potty, etc etc. If I go grocery shopping with the kids by myself I'm crabby and very overwhelmed. I almost always forget stuff, even if I have a list. If we only need a few things, my husband will stop on his way to or from work to pick them up. It makes all of our lives easier :D I think part of it, at least on my part, is that it's cold outside. There's always so much stuff to carry in winter. It's so much easier in the summer when I can just grab the diaper bag and go! No wrestling with winter coats, boots, hats, gloves, etc. I think it'll get better for all of us when it's warm out! Hang in there! :D
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  13. I know that same feeling. Some days we just get those feelings even if we have a great life. Hope your day gets better!!
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  14. It seems like half of the mamas in my reader are having this struggle right now. First of all, March is pretty much the longest month ev.ah. And boots and hats and coats and mittens and why don't you have two mittens and I know you could totally get another mitten out of the mitten bucket if you wanted to and great now the baby pooped.

    So yeah. I hear you.

    Since you're a person who usually likes to Go and Do, I say sit on the couch and chill if that's how you're feeling. It's okay to lower the bar all the way down. I find that when I give myself permission to chill and not be supermama and let the dishes and the laundry sit until The Mister comes home? Everybody has a better day.

    So I vote to give you a free pass to sit on it for a week or so, and then re-evaluate. Hang in there. You're normal like me.
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  15. I could have written this. Well, except I don't have two cats and a dog. ;)

    I think it's hard because we go a long time before we do get a break. (most of us anyway). I'm feeling similar these days. I can completely relate.

    And I know that getting out seems too taxing some days too. But I do it so that I can at least have some adult interaction, even if I am having to deal with my kiddos the whole time.

    And here's to Mom's Night Out! I hope you get to go like I do. I HAVE to have that!!
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  16. I definitely relate too! I swear it's the winter that's making me not want to go out lately the coats, the carseats over the coats (ugg), the crappy weather, and not getting to be out at the park like we both need lately. I do force myself to go out a few times a week, but I make each trip count. I also would get hubby to go out if I only needed 1 thing from the store. Just not worth it. I just try to remember that this season (of weather, of life) won't last forever & to just take it one day at a time. *hugs*
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  17. Lately I've been feeling like that every day. With my 1 year old walking, he doesn't want to stay in a cart or a stroller like he used to. And my 4 year old has been having horrible tantrums at home and in public. Most days I count down the hours until my husband gets home so I can actually cook dinner or go to the store. I hope it will get better.
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  18. I wanted to say that I sympathize, too! Also:

    - I agree with Pamela, it's o.k. to give yourself a break! Not wanting to drag three kids to the store for one thing seems totally reasonable to me!

    - But if you're feeling it in more ways than that, maybe you're depressed? It happens, it's just something to think about. Only you or a doctor can say if it's more than just a mood, you know? There's no shame in asking for a little help if you're just not you.

    That may be way off, I just wanted to put it out there... Feel better!
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  19. You are not alone! I didn't want to leave my house either unless I absolutely had to. I preferred to stay home. Everyone has said such great things so I don't have much to add except hugs to you.
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  20. I think you need to respect the feeling you are having. It's easy to get overwhelmed. So easy. I feel this way sometimes too and when I do, I also have a tendency to beat myself up about it. My husband is always telling me to sit down and relax and it's soooo hard to do. But it catches up with us. I really think it does. This time shall pass. I say give yourself like a month to kick it and develop a new way of respecting your need to relax.

    Just a thought.

    :-)

    Thanks for visiting my place today.
    Have a great weekend.

    Lee
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  21. Oh, I totally have those days! Or more honestly, months! Please don't beat yourself up about it...I think it's just part of this motherhood thing. I remember when I had 3 that were 5 and under, it was such a CHORE to go anywhere! It does get better. And even better once winter is over!
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  22. I can totally relate. I had one of those days last friday, but praise God I was able to take it in bits and pieces and do much of what needed to be done this week. :D
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  23. I think there are different times and seasons and that there are no right or wrong answers.

    I only have two of my own but I was babysitting a little girl one month older than Chloe when my son was born so each day I had a newborn, an 19 month old and a 20 month old. Sometimes I was (and am!) that mom and other times I'm not.

    Some things to consider:

    -winter (coats, boots, mitts etc.) is a time that we tend to not go out as much! (justified in my opinion!)

    -are you taking care of yourself (proper rest, proper hydration and balanced eating) because I know that if any of those things are lacking for me I am more susceptible to getting rundown and low on energy. If you are low on energy, most things seem more overwhelming than they are!


    -that it is good to be home, to have a routine and to stick with it

    -the young stage goes fast. Don't stress the small stuff. If it's overwhelming to go out, stay in and make that 'stay in time' really count! Don't beat yourself up over it. You want the littles to remember "fun mom" whether she went out or not!

    We're all (or have been) where you are right now. Hang in there!
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  24. Lady I think you need a time out, and have some me time, but that's just one man's opinion. I thought I'd stop by to thank you for visiting my blog. Hope you enjoyed yourself. Maybe you've inspired me to write a song. Hmmmm... Have a great weekend. Nice to meet you. Maybe you should learn to play the piano. It's quite soothing. I play keys too.
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  25. I think we all get overwhelmed sometimes. God surrounded us with loving people because he knows we need them. It's okay to ask for help some times. It makes sense, a lot more sense than completely stressing yourself over something your husband does not mind doing.
    In the meantime, maybe there are some ways that you can turn getting ready to go into a game for you and the kiddos...
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  26. I read this post last week, but my stupid RSS app on my phone makes it next to impossible to comment. It did stick with me, though, and I even thought of you this morning when I was sitting the parking lot at the gym, barely holding it together. It's nice to know we're not alone, and I truly hope you get a little relief soon, too. You have, honestly, been such an inspiration to me, and you've been through so much more in this last year than I can even imagine.
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Thanks for your kind words! I love hearing from you.

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