Dear Little Sister

In exactly one week your brother and sister and I will be on a plane on our way to you. It will be late and we will all be tired and excited. We will be four hours from landing in the airport where you are. We will have been on the plane for a LONG time already. I am hoping that your brother and sister will be sleeping. I am guessing that even if they are, I will not be. I am guessing the combination of excitement that I am only a few hours away from seeing and holding you for the first time and the fear that if I fall asleep something will happen to them (yes, Mommy knows how silly she is) will keep me awake. But either way, we will be on our way to you.

And that is the only place in the world that I want to be. I wish I could be there right now. My arms have ached for you for months. My heart has hurt for all the time we have been apart. Each day has felt like a year and it has been so incredibly hard on us to be away from you. Your brother has been so excited for you. He has waited and waited (we all have) and now he is so happy to be on his way to meet you.

I realize baby girl that the first moment with us will not have the same impact on you that it has on us. I realize that, when we pick you up, you will be confused. I realize that you will not know what is happening. You will not know us and you will not know that your life is changing. And if you did know, that might not be a comfort to you. I realize that, to you, there will be a new person holding you, there will be another baby (one you do not recognize) who will be very impatient and whinny because I am holding you and there will be a random five-year-old boy who is getting in your face and trying to be the most important person in your life. I understand that this will be overwhelming and even frightening.

And I wish that I could make it easier. I wish that there was some way to let that day be less scary. I wish that there was some way to make it as big and wonderful for you as it is for me - for us. I wish that I could make it easy. I really do. But even though I cannot make it easier, I can care for you and hold you. I can comfort you and give you all the love I have in my heart. All the love I have been holding in my heart for months and months. And pretty soon you will be used to my hugging and kissing and loving. And you will absolutely blossom under that love - the love that all four members of your family cannot wait to give you.