People Say Stupid Things

I used to think that the stupidest thing people said to me in regards to Little Sister was. "You have to go there?" As if the privilege of getting to go there and pick her up is some kind of chore. As if I would somehow consider it not worth doing. Or a hardship I did not wish to endure. I used to laugh about how people who would say that and wonder if I should ask them "Do you have to go through labor?" Of course, plenty of them might just tell me that they were have scheduled c-sections and would miss my point. *sigh* But these last few days I have learned there is an even more stupid question. That people can go even further in their not understanding.

People keep asking me why the kids and I have to go so early. They seem to think that the fact that we "have to go so early" is a negative thing. They keep asking me "why can't you go later" or "why do you have to go there then." And I am so shocked by the conversation that I pretty much have no response. I mean I usually say, "because we want her." Which is followed by some other insensitive comment about how it is such a shame that I have to be there for so long. And I just do not get it. I mean I want my daughter. I want to be with her. Why doesn't anyone think that the terrible tragedy is that Hubby will not be coming with us? That he has to wait two weeks before he can come out.

That the kids and I are going to meet the newest member of our family without him. I think about that and I want to cry. I mean I think it is so important that we get to her as soon as we can. And Hubby and I have decided together that if only I can (and the kids can) be with her that is what we have to do. And I admit I am going to miss Hubby but what makes me sad is that Hubby will not be there when we meet her. It is so unfair. We will never be able to remake that moment and we will always have to live with the fact that he was not there. And that stinks!

But the point is that what amazes me is that this fact - the fact that Hubby will miss that moment - does not seem to bother anyone. What bothers them is that I am going "so early" or that I am going to be there "so long." Someone even asked me today if the kids and I had to get Little Sister as soon as we get there or if we can sleep for a little while first. Do we HAVE to get her? HAVE TO GET HER? WHAT?!?! Seriously, I cannot believe that question. I HAVE to get her as soon as possible. Because I need HER. The agency does not care when I get her - they will keep her in the orphanage until the day we leave to come home but I need her. So, I am going to get her right away. Not because I have to - but because I have to.