The Babywearing Smile

You are out at some event. Your baby is snuggled in close in your favorite sling (wrap, mai tei, snugli, etc.). You are having a nice time. Baby is enjoying watching all the people and things. You walk past about a million strollers. You've seen at least one mom carrying a squirmy baby who does not want to sit in the stroller her husband is pushing. And then you see her. The other mom with her baby in a carrier. It does not matter if you and she have the same carrier or not. The two of you will automatically smile at one another. And it is an extra warm smile.

It is a smile that says, "Hello." It is a smile that says, "Oh, how I wish I had a second to sit and talk to you. We would probably be good friends." It is a smile that says "Hey, I like that pattern." It is a smile that says, "Hey, did the rude guy hassle you too?" It is a smile that says, "You have been told by your mother (mother-in-law, sister, cousin, friend, etc.) that you are going to spoil that baby if you do not put her down." It is a smile that says, "You understand." It is a smile that says, "Do you use your stroller to carry extra coats, your diaper bag and all the other things your kids want you to carry too?" It is a smile that says, "I hope you are enjoying your day as much as I am."

Hubby asked once why we all do it. Why we cannot walk past each other without smiling. And I think it is because we feel an immediate sense of community with one another. We immediately relish in the fact that we are not the only one. We were okay with being the only one, but it is always nice to have someone like yourself around. But I think a big part if it is that it makes us genuinely happy to see each other's babies being worn. Not that the baby in the stroller makes us unhappy (okay, they do if they are crying - but if they are enjoying themselves and exploring all the things they see and they are happy, then we smile at them, too) but there is something about seeing a baby being worn that makes us happy. Maybe it is the maternal instinct in us. The part of us that turns our head slightly whenever a child cries; The part of us that smiles at the joke we are told by any child even when it does not make sense; The part of us that notices the little child who seems lost and will not let that child out of our sight until his parents are found; That part of us sees the baby (toddler) in the carrier and is just happy to see that baby because we know all the ways they are benefiting from being worn.

This post included in Real Life's Your Life Your Blog

15 Comments:

  1. I love it! I went to a thing called the Renaissance Festival today with my husband, in-laws, and of course the baby. We took a stroller and my babyhawk. Charlie spent maybe 30 minutes in the stroller and then we used it to change his diaper and carry the rest of our stuff. The rest of the time I carried him. He nursed many times in the babyhawk and took almost an hour and a half nap in it. I did see a few other babywearers(even a babywearer dad!) I did do the smile to at least one of them. I saw a babywearing video the other day and loved the quote "keep you baby close enough to kiss!"
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  2. This is so true :) I really need to find a new carrier to suit my heavy little monkey . . . he still brings his wrap to me when he wants a snuggle!
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  3. Love this! I tried to talk my husband into buying a backpack for M. He looked like he was having fun in the store, but D insisted that when he's that big, he'll be in a stroller or walking. Right.

    I always try to wear M when I go out with him. I've forgotten the sling a couple of times & usually regret it. It doesn't matter where we go, whenever he's in his sling we get tons of compliments. Older women saying "I wish they'd had that when mine were young". Older men saying "look at him, just like he's still in mama's belly".

    That amazes me, because it's usually the older generation that says you're going to spoil the child. It's actually younger people (sadly, most are moms) that give us looks of displeasure. My baby is happy & looking at everything at my side. Your baby is in the stroller crying. Maybe it's jealousy.
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  4. My guy is so long and heavy at nearly 10 months that "wearing" him puts a lot of stress on my back, but he wants to be held all of the time. Any recommendations for an appropriate (and affordable) carrier? Thanks!
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  5. I loved baby wearing when my son was an infant. It wasn't long before he refused to do it anymore though - he's always been very active and hates being confined. Maybe better luck with the next one :-) I remember giving "the smile" to another baby wearing mom in a store once. It's nice seeing people who share the same values, especially when it's something that isn't so mainstream. I don't know why baby wearing gets a bad rap - I thought it was very comfortable! I have a bjorn, but would love to try different types with my next baby.
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  6. *sigh* I miss those days. At 26 months my "baby" wants to walk...and run...and hide!...and not be worn.
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  7. love this!! Probably because I do it too! My hubby & I take turns wearing our 3 year old & 7 month old so we don't have to lug a stroller anywhere and they LOVE being so close and snuggly.

    And don't give up if they get wiggly & you have to give up wearing for a while. They get through that phase (dd did anyway) and then the back carries are fantastic!

    I LOVE my "mock moby" and mei tei carriers!!!!
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  8. It has been 10 years since I had the privilege of wearing a baby in a sling. I still look at moms with slings and smile and feel a kinship. Sadly, they think I'm some stalking old lady:)
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  9. i love it when i see another babywearing mom, and yes, i always smile. how very astute of your spouse to notice!
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  10. I don't get to see it very often, but I love when I do :)
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  11. I am very eager to baby wear! Trouble is, I am a single mom and just can not afford a carrier right now. I feel so bad putting my babe in her stroller cos she can't see everything like she could if I were wearing her. I hope one day I'll be able to splurge a little and buy a carrier before she is too big! :)
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  12. First off, when I read this I was out and about with DH and DS and it really melted my heart! It was so sweet! I truly wish that I felt that community of mamas that babywear. Where we are currently stationed I haven't seen any other babywearing mamas and I get crazy looks when I am all wrapped up with Squirt! I love it (wearing not the looks, thought they don't really bother me). The biggest question I get is if I am really hot because it gets to be 115+ here in the summer. I really don't I use a light material that breathes and baby and I am very happy!
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  13. Absolutely!! This post actually made me tear up (damn pregnancy hormones LOL!!) mostly because you hit it dead on; that sense of community just surrounds you and the other person as you pass each other by.
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  14. Jamie - I love that quote!! That is perfect. :)

    Pamela - Have you tried the Ergo? It has lots of support - even for heavy babies. :) I should know Big Sister is a chunka monka.

    SuthernStrawberry - I get that too. It is the young people (usually the ones with kids in strollers) who give me looks. I just had someone tell me in a very exasperated voice that they know someone who still uses a carrier with their 16 month old. I thought that was great :)

    Minday - Well, affordable and good may be the problem you are having. The better ones are more expensive. I like the Ergo a lot. I also like the Moby. Neither stress my back. The Moby is not that expensive and a used Ergo is usually affordable.

    Jennifer - Wanting to run and play is good too - mine currently does alot of up and down. :)

    EdenSky - Yes, it does go by quickly doesn't it?

    MamaCampbell - That is exactly what recently happened with Big Sister. But then we got the Ergo and she loves the back carry. I take her into school to drop Big Brother off every day.

    Debbie - Nah!! They are just relieved that you are not yelling at them - since so many people do. :)

    Slee - It is nice to see isn't it?

    Southernpandora - I don't see it enough either - although, i saw a bunch at Irish fest last week.

    kathy - I am giving away three carriers this week so keep coming back.

    taylorUSMCwife - I do love it when I see another babywearing mom but I do not see them often enough. But I do wear even in the summer - even when it is a little warm it is so worth it. :)

    Shelly - Gotta love those pregnancy hormones. :) Glad that I got it right - I was hoping to really convey the feeling. And hey we agree :)
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  15. Great post! That's really sweet. I don't remember if I smiled at baby-wearing mamas when I wore my babies, but I'm sure I did. I smile at everyone! LOL ;-)
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Thanks for your kind words! I love hearing from you.