So, I have this freezer full of milk waiting on Little Sister to come home. I mean it is FULL. See it over there? A little ridiculous don't ya think? And originally I figured I would give Little Sister as much breast milk as possible and supplement with formula if necessary. I became kind of obsessed with not needing to supplement with formula and began pumping pumping pumping. I got my body onto a schedule it could handle and have managed to pump out about 16 - 20 oz a day (now remember that is over and beyond what Big Sister eats). It is all sitting frozen in my basement freezer.So, at first I figured I probably would not even try to actually breastfeed. That I would feed her breast milk (and formula if necessary) but that I would feed her with a bottle. See, the actual act of breastfeeding did not matter to me so much. The biggest benefit I ever heard people quote was bonding - but I know full well how easy it is to bond with a bottle fed baby. As a matter of fact there were times with Big Sister when I missed bottle feeding. Missed looking into my babies eyes as I fed her (like I had done with her brother). Those first few weeks when she was so little and I had to jam her face into me I was so frustrated that I could not see her. And really I do not feel like Big Brother and I lack a bond. So, I figured no big deal. I could pump and feed Little Sister a bottle of breast milk. I would feel good that she was getting the best I could give her and I would not have to worry about teaching her to latch or taking the bottle (which she knew and was comfortable with) away from her.
In the past few months I have changed my mind, however. I have decided that I will try to get her to breastfeed. Because convenience takes over for me once again. I am tired of pumping. I am tired of having to plan my day around pumping and making sure that wherever I am I will be able to pump. I want the ease of just popping her on and feeding her while we are out enjoying the day, or on a plane, etc. I want to be able to just sit down where I am and feed the baby - like every other normal mom on the planet. Not the one who has to go stand in a stall of the bathroom and pump for twenty minutes (because of course, we cannot take all that milk that I have stored with us - it will not be good after an entire day out and about).
I know that this means she will have to learn something new but she learns something new everyday. I won't take her bottle away from her. I will continue to give her bottles as well. For a few reasons. One because she is used to them and I do not want to take them away. Two because I want Hubby to be able feed her as well. Three we do have a freezer full of milk we might as well use some of it.
And I know people will say that I shouldn't.
- People will say I shouldn't give her a bottle. That she will learn to breastfeed faster and easier if we take the bottle away completely.
- People will say that I shouldn't breastfeed at all. That she already likes her bottle and why does this have to be about me?
- People will say if I want to be done pumping I can always give her formula on the occasions we are out for a feeding.
- People will I shouldn't give her a bottle because of all the bonding time I miss out on.
- People will say I shouldn't breastfeed because I won't know if she is getting enough.
- People will say.... you get the picture.
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28 Thoughtful Thoughts so far. What do you think?
I think it is great that you are going to breastfeed her! People will always say things but you have to do what is best for you and your family and if that is a combination of breastfeeding and bottlefeeding, then that is what you should do!
And, WOW!! That is a TON of milk! I have less than 30 ounces in the freezer and it was difficult to get that! You are superwoman!
This is beautiful!!! I HAD to share this with my facebook friends, the amazing human milk! I mean, we HAVE super powers!!! Thanks for sharing...!
Beautiful story! You are an amazing mom....that is a TONNE of milk, lol!
this nearly made me cry.
you are so wonderful and i really am just in awe of what you're doing/have done to get where you need to be to adopt little sister!
props to you. seriously.
and here's what people will say: it's wonderful that you're doing what you think is best for you.
I am so impressed! Wow! I so hope that you have a way to donate any extras to a milk bank. One of the secret fears of mine is dying and having my exclusively BF baby put on formula. I wish so much I could say, "Oh, just go to this local breastmilk bank to get good, yummy milk for her!" Of course, I haven't done the work you did to get my stash up. I hope I never regret that.
Also, you probably know this, but BFing is additionally beneficial when the baby is physically latched on because the communication of baby's needs (such as for antibodies, etc.) happens there. Very amazing. I mean, I have to know there is a God!
I was unable to breastfeed my daughter so I have expressed ALL her milk for nearly nine months. To hear that you are breastfeeding AND pumping that amount is incredible. I totally hear you about traveling. Traveling with pumped breast milk is so inconvenient. What you are doing is a truly selfless thing, what a lucky baby you have.
I also think you are doing a great thing by trying to get her to latch-on, I still try occassionally now...although it usually ends in tears (for both of us!) I just can't help wanting to share that bonding with my little girl. Hopefully next time I will be more successful!
ok, i'm not pregnant, nor have i ever been,
but i do so want to breast feed.
i had a breast reduction 9 years ago, and i'm super concerned i will not be able to produce any milk. i'm not sure how many of the milk ducts were damaged, or if any of the nerves have reconnected over the past years. i guess i will not know until the day comes that i have a need to produce milk, but it is something i think about daily! i have read a lot on bfar.org and a lot of what is said is that it doesn't matter how much you produce, basically that you decide you own success with breast feeding....
so, maybe you know, is there anyway to physically make more milk?? i have read, that if i can produce, i need to pump like it is NO ONE'S busniess the first few weeks.....
oh goodness, that comment was all over the place
sorry!
I decided long ago that I don't care what people will say. I had to give up BFing my son due to medical reasons on both our parts. I remember at the time I felt like it was the end of the world. I felt like a failure! But the reality is, we did not miss out on any bonding. I still held him and cuddled him with every bottle. He did not need to be physically attached to me to feel loved. When we were still BFing, he was able to go back and forth from bottle to breast with no problem whatsover - babies are SMART! As for the health benefits, well, he has been sick only once so far, and that was when he was 11 months old!
I give you credit for working so hard to prepare and do what you believe is best for your little one! I feel strongly that there is no right or wrong way, and whatever works for your family is the best way! Who cares what people will say! :-)
p.s. That freezer stash is IMPRESSIVE! I remember feeling like I accomplished something when I had about 8 ounces stored away! I hope I can do better when I have my next baby :-)
Impressive stash:) Just be sure that if any is near the limit of going bad that you smell it when it is thawed. Also, not sure if your freezer is frost free but those are not recommended to store breast milk in.
OMG! I love this. I wrote a post on pumping the other day. Screw what people say!!
Kudos to you! Your freezer stash puts mine to shame... I am TOTALLY impressed!
Lauren, thanks!! Your words are very kind. I am excited about it. I am so blessed to be in the position to do this for her. As for the milk - well it is a year in the making (literally I started pumping at about this time last year - trying to naturally induce labor). And I have been blessed with a rather large supply. God knew I needed enough for two.
Erin, JQ, Slee, I appreciate your support and encouragement but really I have not done anything all that fantastic. I have simply done what needs to be done for my baby. It is the one thing I CAN do for her. And every time that I get frustrated and want tot give up I remember how she needs this and I keep going. It is not that I am such a great mom or anything just that I am dedicated to giving ALL of my kids the best.
James, Andrea and Clara Smith, You bring up a good point about the communication and antibodies. It is actually a big reason I hope she will latch (aside from convenience) that way the milk will be made especially for her. As opposed to her sister. But I am comfortable with either way. And hey just make sure your family has seen my site - if necessary I will send them all that they need, okay? :)
Laurie, YOU are the amazing one. So many people will not stick to pumping if breastfeeding does not work out. Kuddos to you for doing what is best for your daughter.
LOV, Yes, pumping a lot helps. As does drinking A LOT of water. I also believe that my oversupply came from the fact that I began pumping at 37 weeks (as soon as delivery is safe in case it sent me into labor - it didn't though). I have heard that eating oatmeal increases your supply as well. Also a trick I learned to increase supply is to pump for five minutes after the breast is empty.
Jennifer, While I will be the first to tell you (not you specifically) that you should breastfeed if possible I also know that everything will be okay if you use formula. Big Brother was on formula and he has NEVER - in his almost five years of life - had a sick visit to the doctor.
People will say... "we're in love." It's a song from the musical "Oklahoma!" and it was also the first thing that popped into my head when I read your title. After reading the post, I still think it fits. Little Sister is one lucky girl!
Breastfeeding Mamas are amazing! No one told me how hard it was. My sister has always made enough to feed an army. So when my son and I really struggled, I was surprised. When he went almost 24 hours without a wet diaper, I knew it was best to switch him to formula. But every baby is different and I will try again next time around.
As you know, I was not able to get my boys to latch when they were born. Both learned later on how to use a nipple shield and then go without on. All it takes it patience...and clearly you have that with all of the pumping you did. Months back I wrote a post about all of the milk that I had pumped and then tossed away. I had stashed a bunch and then stopped using my pump. After a certain point it was taking up too much space and I let it go. Kuddos to you for being such a great mom :)
Oh wow, I have to stand up and applaud that stash of breastmilk. Good grief, you are one pumpin' mama! Me and breastpumps never worked very well, I tried almost every style made by Medela, including hospital grade, self expression...nothing worked. I was lucky to pump 2 oz a day but little girl sure did get what she needed.
WOW! You're a milk factory! It makes me think of a shirt or bumper sticker that says "My superhuman power is making milk - what's yours?" Ha! :) Good for you! :D
What a stash! Wow! I recommend getting the Playtex Fridge to go system. We got several like them from the hospital and they're great for keeping your breastmilk frozen while you're out and about. My dh is mortified when I nurse in public (that's a whole post waiting to happen) so I carried expressed breastmilk when we went out. I put it in a bag similar to the Playtex system. I would stick it in frozen with an ice pack or two. It would stay mostly frozen. When we got wherever we were going (usually dinner) I'd ask for a cup of HOT water. Just stick the bag in there and it unthaws really fast. Most times the milk would stay totally frozen. When I got home, I'd take the milk I had in the tote and put it in the fridge. It was ready for the next feeding.
I'm blessed that I had support from the beginning from my husband, my mother, my maternal aunt and my maternal grandmother. It feels good to know the women of my family breastfed, as long as they were able. Until I gave birth to my daughter 2 months early, I never knew how hard breastfeeding especially exclusively pumping could be.
I had breastfed my oldest too, but he fixed his latch on his own after two times and was so easy to breastfeed from the start. My daughter I had to wait until she got the suck-swallow-breathe reflex and then teach her to take the breast after the hospital insisted that she get bottles.
I'm proud to say I got my daughter to breast, but there are so many women who can't and those who exclusively pump are my heroes. It takes a lot of love and commitment to pump so often. What a gift to give your child!! One not of your own womb but of your heart.
Collins family, Thanks! We are in love. We are so in love that our hearts hurt from the wait. And I think we are the lucky ones - we get to be her parents. Good luck when the next go around comes and feel free to ask for help. There are lots of us been there, done that mamas who would be happy to help.
TheAngelForever, Yes I have already started picking up nipple shields when I see them - Babies R Us only had one :( I think that is a great idea and do not be surprised if I come begging for advice on how to wean off of it. Taking up too much space? I cannot imagine. :) In all seriousness I need to get rid of some of mine as my freezer has no more room and I figure better to keep newer stuff.
Cat, I needed to be able to pump it and no matter how hard it got I keep right on going. I just knew in my heart that I HAD to do it. If I ever get pregnant again I do not plan to do much pumping - just whenever Hubby or the older kids wants to feed the baby. I am SICK of it. :P
Nikki, I LOVE that bumper sticker - I have seen it on shirts too. LOVE it. :)
Shaun, If Little Sister will not latch I will have to get one of those. They sound perfect for me. I still hope she does but I am glad there is something out there that will make life easier if she does not.
Lei, I agree. Exclusively pumping is really hard. It takes twice the time and effort that breastfeeding does, you cannot do it in public and it kinda stinks all around (the pumping). I feel so blessed to have been able to do this for Little Sister but yes it has certainly been a labor of love. If you have any tips on how to get baby to the breast after they are accustomed to a bottle I would love to hear them.
wow - you are absolutely amazing!!! I can't believe you have been pumping as you have been - I really don't like pumpling and avoid it like the plague! (but just had to start this past week b/c I am staring my little one on solids soon and need milk to mix up the cereal and also b/c I feel like my supply is going down). I do it b/c I have to, but not sure if I would have kept up w/ as long as you - great job!!!!
and don't worry what anyone else says - you are doing what is best for you and your family and that is all that matters :)
Jackie, I have been amazed at how many of you seem to think you wouldn't have kept it up this long. I am actually convinced that any of you would. Because it is the thought of giving up that milk and not being able to give it to her that keeps me going.
It is great that you are breastfeeding. I gave up pumping for my #2 as it was really time consuming and all the washing was really driving me crazy. It was so much easier to directly latch on/off...less hassle.
Holy milk, Batman! That is AWESOME and great dedication to give Little Sister the best! And I hope the transition to BF'ing goes smoothly as well!
Amen mama EVERYONE has an opinion & you just go with what works for you & your family period!
I am so impressed by your dedication and love for this little baby that you haven't even met yet! She is one lucky baby indeed! And whether you end up bottlefeeding or breastfeeding or supplementing with formula - this baby will FEEL the love that you have to give her!!
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Thanks for your kind words! I love hearing from you.