Somethings Do Not Make Good Stories

I have been reading the book Mercy by Jodi Picoult the last few days. I am enjoying it. I read My Sister's Keeper a few years back and I enjoyed it very much. Since then I have always meant to read another book by Picoult. This story is hard on me. This story is upsetting. The characters are all very real. They are all people who I could know in my everyday life. This makes them easy to relate to. That makes the upsetting things even more upsetting.

The problem with the book is that I am so tired of being inundated with stories of men cheating on their wives. Maybe it is because I am married. Maybe it is because I want to be the people who have a lifetime to look back on. Maybe it is because I fully intend to remain married. I suppose it could be because my husband knows that I would stay pretty much no matter what. Or maybe it could just be that I have more faith in people and in marriage. I believe that people really can be in love for fifty years. I believe that marriage is something that people have to work at but that for most people marriage is something that is worth working at.

And yet we constantly see or read stories of men who cheat. Whether it is the father on TV's Brothers and Sisters, the father on TV's Parenthood or the husband in this book. And it always seems that the longer a couple has been married the more likely a man is to be cheating. Does it work like that in real life? Do all couples who have been married for ten years or more wind up with one or the other cheating on their spouse? I hope not. I don't believe that. And so I wonder why does everyone think it is a good story line? It creates drama, I suppose. It certainly gives conflict. But why does anyone want to read it? Do we think we can see the problem in their marriage? Do we think that if we see it it cannot happen to us? If you ask me it just does not make a good story.

Please Think Before You Speak

We went back to Sesame Place today. The kids love it there. Especially the girls. Big Sister has been itching to go back. All she could talk about was getting to hug Telly and the Count (okay and Elmo and Abby too). She enjoys the park aspect of it but really she would spend the day going from one friend to another just hugging them and kissing them and talking to them. It's all she wants. Unfortunately, the park does not print the times the characters are going to be out. But, being a relatively intelligent person, I figured if I asked I would be able to find out. So, I go over to the information booth and I ask the kid behind the counter.

He tells me that there is no schedule and that "no one knows when they will be anywhere." I look at him and calmly tell him I would like the address or phone number of the person who sets that rule so I can complain. He starts to go into his speech about how they are busy and they come out when they can. At which point I want to say, "Look you pea brain kid I am an adult and I know its someone in a costume don't give me that crap." But I don't. I simply tell him that I realize he does not make the rules and so can he please get me the info to the people who do. He grudgingly gets it for me and I walk away very annoyed.

Poor Big Sister just wants to hug the Count and we have not found him all day. We have been hanging around the main street where the friends come out for almost an hour now and I am ready to give up. I start walking back to where Hubby and the other kids are. As I am leaving I see one of the people with the cameras who are usually with the characters. I stop her and ask if she can help, figuring that since she actually works with them she might now. She informs me that the people at front gate photo have the schedule for all the friends and when they will be on the street. I go over there and ask and sure enough they are able to tell me exactly when the Count will be there and we are able to plan to come back and see him when he will be. If only the first kid had looked into it, or told me who to ask I could have saved myself almost an hour of standing around and waiting. So, really people when someone asks you for help - either look into the answer or at least tell them you have no idea so they will go ask someone who might.


For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

A Day For Two

Hubby and I (gasp) left the kids today and headed into NYC to see Wicked. We left the kids with my ILs and spent an entire day just he and I. We had lunch, walked around Times Square, saw the show, had dinner and came back. The kids did great and we had a much needed day to ourselves. It has literally been two years (as in I was pregnant the last time) since Hubby and I have done anything just the two of us. It was really nice. And the show was awesome! It was so fun. I have read the Gregory Maguire book and we have actually read quite a few of the original L Frank Baum books with Big Brother. And I think my favorite part of the show was how much of it is still a new story. And the end was so cool!! I won't spoil it for anyone who has not seen it but it ROCKED!!!!.

Tired

I am tired lately. Like down to my core tired. The end of the day comes and I sit with computer on my lap and try to string coherent words together so I can share my story with you and I end up with nothing. At least nothing publishable. I end up with streams of thoughts that are not coherent. I end up with things that tell you how the laundry is never ending, the quarelling is constant, the discipline is lacking on my part which is causing all three to act up, the days seem longer but how still a smile makes my day, the giggle that comes after the quarelling is priceless, and there never seems to be enough time. How they are all growing too fast. How the upcoming second birthday is fast approaching and I am not ready. And then as I look back at that I realize how tired I am and I give up.

And so, consequently, I am not really sharing any of the fun stuff. Like Big Brother has decided he wants to play drums (Hubby is going to teach him guitar but I don't think drums are in his future). But since we will not pick him up a set he has concocted his own. And he is enjoying it immensely. Big Sister occasionally gets in on the action with him as well.

Big Sister seems to want to be a model. She always wants her picture taken. Her she is making her cute face. A week or so ago she was walking around the house in underwear and high heels - I guess she is considering modeling for Victoria Secret.

Big Brother is growing up so fast. It is hard to believe that he is almost six. He knows so much and he learns so fast. And yet sometimes he gives me this look and I see that cute little toddler he used to be. The one who's whole world revolved around Hubby and I. I kinda miss that.

Little Sister has been giving us a run for our money lately. We did call Early Intervention and set up an evaluation for her. They are coming on Wednesday. She seems to be frustrated with what she cannot do and yet not really willing to try. She has a stubborn streak. But then I look at this face and I am just so grateful to have her here and healthy that it is almost okay. Almost I still want her to walk - and sooner please my arms are getting a little tired. :)

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

Time For Yourself

So, this afternoon Hubby and I were talking a little about how things are not okay. We were talking about how it is kind of like the spark is missing. As if that extra thing that takes you from happy to exuberant is missing. Hubby said this to me as he was cleaning up and getting dinner ready. Big Sister was crying and asking for something. Little Sister was crawling around and kind of in the way. Big Brother was playing and off and on fighting with Big Sister. There was music playing in the other room. It was fairly loud. But then again that is fairly typical,

Hubby, who pretty much hates when it is loud (as opposed to me who is most comfortable in loud), starts listing all the things he has to do for the rest of the night. He seems to get more and more frustrated as he lists the things that he has to do. All of a sudden he turns around and says , "You know what? The problem is neither of us get anytime to ourselves." And instantly I know that this is at least a huge part of the problem.

And so my Aloha Friday question for you this week is how do you find time for yourself?

Not Okay

Lately I am having a hard time blogging at all. In some ways it is because I have less time. I have less time to read blogs and less time to participate in the things that are going on around the blog-o-sphere. But more than anything I am simply lost. I am simply out of it. Something is just not okay.

I feel a little out of it. I feel like I just cannot win. I feel like something is just .... not okay. Something is eating at me. I do not know what it is. It could be any one of a million things I suppose. But really there are always things in life that could be better. Day in and day out we all deal with small things that keep us running. And in truth I am very happy. The kids are awesome and Hubby is doing really well. The house has been relatively cleaned up lately and I have been thrilled with with how well all three are doing. They are learning and growing and developing and having fun. It is amazing and I love it.

But .... something .... is just ... not okay. And I do not know what it is. I do not know how to fix it. I do not know how to face this thing that I cannot identify. How do I make it all okay? And so I find myself not really blogging, not really talking, not really dealing with much. I mean we have been having an awful lot of fun and we have been getting together with friends and we have been doing all kinds of things that we love to do. But somewhere deep in my soul I can see that there is something. Something just not okay.

You Can Do It

My regular blog readers have seen this before (and you can read more about my freezer of breastmilk here) but in honor of World Breastfeeding Week I wanted to share it again. I am working on a post for tomorrow about my feelings on breastfeeding at this juncture. However, the main point I want to make by showing this picture is that no matter what obstacles you face (in anything, not just breastfeeding) you can do it.

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.